I will carry 17 grocery bags or die trying before making two trips.
When I was in 7th Grade, I almost set an Elementary School on fire while trying to microwave a cookie.
I was working at the concessions stand during a basketball tournament (my team was required to work because the tournament was being hosted in my School district), and, because I was hungry, I decided to use the microwave to heat up my cookie. My teeth were very sore due to me getting dental braces that week, so I decided to microwave it for a minute so it could be really soft.
It set on fire.
The smoke alarm went off throughout the school.
The sprinkler system went off.
Basketball games that were going on at the time were cancelled.
Everyone had to evacuate the school and wait for the Police and Fire Department to show up.
I JUST WANTED A COOKIE.
Can you imagine how Yang found out about her powers
- schoolyard bully: why are you hitting yourself, why are you hitting yourself
- schoolyard bully: oh shit
Don’t clap, please don’t clap.
One time when my music theory professor was a student in college, he had to accompany an extremely rude soprano for a recital. She treated him like dirt during rehearsals. Just before going on to perform, she made some really snide remark to him that ticked him off, so he transposed the piece up a half step. She cracked three times.
Always be nice to your accompanists, folks.
There is a special place in hell for people that are rude to their accompanists
Q:Hello! Can you do a drabble where Astrid shows Hiccup who is boss in bed? Ha!
Moonlight barely filtered through the window. A candle burned small, its light hesitant and flickering in the corner of the bedchambers, seemingly exhausted after hours of burning down to the last bit of wax.
It was warm and damp inside that bedroom. Two lovers shared a bed, their breaths and the temperature of their skins radiating a slick heat. The scent of lovemaking filled the air, enticing and primeval.
The bed creaked with a steady cadence, following the thrusting motions that rocked life into both bodies.
But then the rhythm slowed.
“Did… did you just yawn?”
I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.
"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"
This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.
Q:Kristanna or Hiccstrid
HICCSTRID!!!!! Kristanna is good too,but HICCSTRID is my OTP for evarrrr!!!!!!
look how cute they are
and yes even with spit is this cute,OKAY
she braids his hair
and he doesn’t like the braids but keeps them for his gal
the way he looks at her
the way she looks at him
and the SASS
he shows her A WHOLE NEW WORLD
and she kisses him all the time
and then he grabs her and kisses her
and this people is THE HOTTEST KISS OF THE ANIMATION HISTORY
performed by : SASSTRID
and DORKCUP aka HOTCUP
and she calls him babe <3
and he calls her milady <3
AND I CAN’T
One time in sixth grade I was being bullied really badly, and this whole circle of people gathered around me and the girl that was bullying me, and she smirked and went ‘You dumb rich bitch.’ And everyone was like OOOOOOH and I stood there for a second before pulling 20 dollars out of my wallet, placed it in her hand, and said “Buy some better insults.” And I swear the entire lunchroom rioted.